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Contributor Interview

Ben Burgis

AJ: Why do you write?

BB: I write because someone has to. I like reading fiction that mixes radical politics, irony, introspection and tentacled creatures from beyond the stars, and Nick Mamatas doesn't come out with new books as often as he should, so I have to write some of it myself. Of course, an alternate theory was advanced by a lit-fic guy in my MFA program, who, when he was very drunk at a party, accused me of being a commercial whore who was writing SF instead of serious literature because I "just want to make money." Then again, within five minutes he'd switched gears to "you're ...I mean, come on, man, you're one of the coolest people I know ..." So ... I guess ... never mind?

AJ: What's the greatest piece of fiction ever created?

BB: That's easy. The greatest piece of fiction ever created is "Valis" by Philip K. Dick. What *do* they teach in literature classes these days, that someone could not know that? It makes you think in new ways, it has a lovely streak of dark humor running through it, and it taught us that the Empire never ended. Not to mention that "going insane is sometimes a rational response to reality" and that dead cats are useful for confrontations with God. It's been a while since I've read it, since I kind of feel that reading Valis is like dropping acid; definitely interesting, possibly enlightening, but not something you want to subject your psyche to on too regular a basis. Still, what sort of person never gets around to doing it once?

AJ: What do you wish you had invented? Why?

BB: I wish I had invented pizza delivery. Imagine that, being the guy who invented pizza delivery! You could tell people, "Hey, you know how there was a time when if you wanted pizza, you had to drive out to the restaurant to get it? And you know how now they come by and bring it to your door, all piping hot in a nice cardboard box so you can eat it while you watch X-Files re-runs, and you never once, in the whole process, have to put your shoes on? Ever wonder who first came up with that idea? Yeah, that was me."

AJ: What do you hope you will live to see in the future?

BB: In all seriousness, I very much hope to live to see real-but-guilt-free meat, from fleshy tissue grown in vats without ever having been attached to a living, sentient animal. I mean, I'm sure you'd still have assholes trying to claim that they could taste a difference and insisting on eating dead cows instead of vat-grown beef, but still seems to me that making vat-grown stuff the norm would be a huge civilizational leap in the right direction.

AJ: If you could step into the Quantum Leap Accelerator and change one event that happened during your lifetime, what would it be?

BB: Hmm. Can the Quantum Leap Accelerator make me the Guy Who Invented Pizza Delivery without too many unintended consequences for the state of the universe in general? I mean, I'm sure pizza delivery was invented decades before I was born, so this might be a tricky one to shoe-horn into the definition of 'an event in my life,' but, really, I'd like that a great deal.

Ben's Atomjack stories can be read here and here.